Mother-daughter relationship

I've never thought of being a mother until 5 years ago. I was afraid that I wouldn't be a good mother and would ruin the life of my children. Now I am expecting my second girl coming, I always remind myself that I won't be a perfect mother but I will do my best to be a good mother of my girls. As a counselor, I know how important to build up a close bonding and secure attachment with my children. As a mother, I've been experienced a failed bonding and attachment with Sasa. I've known the root of this failure for a long time, however, it took me a long time to deal with it. It's my little girl! She didn't have a good attachment and bonding with her mother and she would react to Sasa when she triggered the little girl's pain and hurt getting from her mother. When I am aware of my little girl's feelings and let her know I understand her pain and hurt, she is (I am) able to calm down and not react to Sasa's triggers. After undertaking some therapies,I can see the change of my relationship with Sasa and I am glad that she enjoys being with me!
Sadly, the little girl is still not able to connect with her mother who does not understand how she feels and what she thinks. As a result, the little girl is very frustrated and helpless when her mother repeats what she's done to her hurtfully. I am sure it's time to let go and I am helping her to grief and sooth herself through tenderly nurturing my girls. I keep reminding myself that "Do not hurt my girls as my mother has hurt me" because the paid off is very huge and the damage can be forever!!

臨近生產

臨近生產的時候，對我最大嘅挑戰係身體疲累！好容易就會眼瞓，但係要照顧Sasa無得話瞓就瞓，所以要死撐！不過我都希望可以多啲時間陪Sasa玩，因為唔想佢覺得我有BB就忽略佢。而且睇住佢一日一日咁大，真係會感到好快佢就會有自己世界，到時係我想佢陪我，佢都未必有時間陪我！所以我會盡量去同佢一齊，亦預備佢去迎接妹妹嘅來臨，等佢可以容易接受妹妹同佢一齊分享daddybr同mommy嘅愛。我求天父比我同老公有足夠精神和智慧去照顧兩個女兒，使佢哋可以身心靈都健康成長，成為天父所愛嘅人！